I am starting to feel connected and comfortable in Al-Anon. Went to my home group last night and a woman behind me told me how happy she was that I joined the home group. It’s amazing how those few kind words changed my experience at the meeting and my feelings about belonging in the program in general. I have to remember that in reaching out to others.
The topic last night was Hope and the speaker’s experience really resonated with me. For her the program worked slowly, over time the words of the program became more clear and meaningful. For me the programs (both AA and Al-anon) worked the same way, by osmosis. In the beginning, I did not have a lot of hope but I had enough to continue with the program and listen to others share. I started to see similarities in our experiences and thought processes and slowly the veil of terminal uniqueness started to fade.
Today I realize that my situation is not special. My feelings that I am a mother, you cannot imagine how I feel about my children’s problems and their disease is fading. I am just another person trying to control someone else’s behavior and destiny. When I live according to t the assumption that I am powerless over these people and situations, regardless of how important they are in my life, I believe things will get better. They may not get better for them, but by keeping the focus on myself and changing my attitude, I will get better.
Today I am turning this over to my Higher Power. That is Hope.