The acorns clang on the roof over my head, sometimes so hard I think a gun’s gone off. I used to think it was the squirrels playing a game with me, trying to wake me up or piss me off.

I don’t really want to get out of bed. It’s the sheer luxury of it all. The sun shining brightly through the window, me, coffee in hand, surrounded by books I’ve read and books I’m going to read. A friend texted asking if I’d like to take a walk but I don’t have the inclination to make myself presentable. I’m in a lazy state of mind, sloth pervades.

Yesterday I had a neck ultrasound and they saw nothing suspicious so we are going ahead with the radioactive iodine treatment. The RN in charge of setting up my treatment plan was wonderful.

She gave me a brochure, “Understanding Thyroid Cancer” and another copy of my pathology report. She described what the treatment entailed, I interrupted her with questions, a lot of questions.

In the brochure she had written out Thigh Row Glob You Lynn next to thyroglobulin, as if I couldn’t pronounce the word and didn’t know what it meant. I asked her questions she couldn’t answer. I’d read a lot of studies but was staying away from the message boards. The God damn message boards.

I’m curious about my N Ras mutation. Does it mean I’m more susceptible to other kinds of cancer? Questions, always questions. I figure if I understand the worst case scenario, it will never happen to me. Or maybe it will and I’ll be strong enough to fight it.

I read about the low iodine diet I’ll follow before treatment. “No chocolate” jumps out at me. Ten years ago “No wine” would have evoked the same response.

Now that I have a plan things don’t seem so bad. I realize I’m in a much better spot than I was two weeks ago.